Myelle loves to watch movies. I try not to let her watch them very often, but this week we've been sick so we've just stayed home & vegged. We've been watching lots of movies. We watch the usual PBS stuff in the morning then choose from a plethora of DVDs to watch. Her favorite right now:

Enchanted or "Princess" as Mye calls it. She's really big into princesses right now. I'm pretty sure we've watched this at least once a day for the past couple weeks.

What she's watching right now:

It cracks me up that she loves this movie! She likes it for the singing & dancing. She'll get up & dance to it.

An Old Pic

Aww. Look at my cute little girl that isn't so little anymore. I think she was about 18months here. She's 3 now.

Sparse Posting

Hello all! I haven't forgotten my blog. My "n" key does not work so I have to copy & paste everytime I want to use an "n." Makes for a really long process to post anything. I have had lots of things to post & I will get to them sometime. Hopefully sooner than later. In the meantime, have a wonderful autumn!

Hard Thing of the Day

I had to do a very hard for me thing today.

No it wasn't dealing with a screaming teething baby.

It wasn't potty training my 3 year old.

It wasn't being at home all day long by myself while my hubby was working extra temporarily.

It wasn't finding the motivation to do my housework.

It wasn't going in to pay rent not knowing whether or not we'll be able to make rent next month.

It wasn't figuring out which bills are absolutely necessary to pay & which ones will get skipped.

No, it wasn't any of those things that seem like they'd be hard.

It was having to tell my daughter that "No, we couldn't get an ice cream cone from the ice cream truck this time." And when she asked "Why?" Telling her "Because we don't have the money to buy that ice cream."

You see one of the joys of living in the city is that during the summer the ice cream truck comes. It's only come to our neighborhood 3 other times (that we know of) and I've always let M pick one of the $1 ice cream treats for a special treat. This time as the truck's music announced its arrival my heart dropped. I knew I would have to say no to most likely the last visit of the year.

The look of disappointment on her face broke my heart and brought me to tears. I think it would have been easier had she thrown a tantrum or made a big scene. I was actually expecting her to do that. However, she merely said "Okay," and then went off to play some more while the neighbor kids ate their ice creams. She acted quite "grown-up" and it kind of made me sad, yet very proud of my big little girl.

Edited to Add: BTW...I totally think that M not getting an ice cream is a good thing. There needs to be times when she doesn't get what she wants and I know that's good for her. It just isn't easy to see your kids disappointed no matter how good it is for them.

Homework: Dear Friend

My awesome friend Jessica turned me on to this wonderful lady & her blog. You can join TravelinOma for class too. It's free!! Anyway this is my first assignment of the many I hope to complete.

(BTW I'm not sure how to put & link pictures from another site yet so I just hyperlinked the words. Soon I will be able to do pics too. :D )

Dear Friend,

I know you are worried about your husband's recent layoff at work. Knowing you like I do, I'm sure you feel upset, stressed, confused, and scared, but I trust your instincts. You seem so resilient that I'm sure you can bounce back from this difficult time with more spring in your step than ever. You've never given up on anything yet so why start now? If you put your mind to it you can do anything, including this.

You are doing the right things in turning to the Lord for comfort and answers. Try to cut your husband a little slack while he sorts through his own feelings of frustration. As his wife it is not your job to fix it for him, but to stand by him through it all as he finds a way to get things done. You will both learn and grow much more if you trust in the Lord and let each other fulfill the roles you were meant for.

Remember the Lord loves you, as do your family and friends. This too shall pass.

Always,

Your Friend

Feeling Blessed

My house may not be very tidy or very big. There is always some chore that needs doing. A batch of laundry needing taken care of. A hurt feeling or owie needing attended to. A crying baby that wants fed/held/rocked to sleep. There's meals to be cooked. Shopping to do. Clothes to be mended. Feelings of inadequacy & imperfection often creep up about being a good mom, wife, friend, person. It's a scary time of our lives right now filled with worry & uncertainty. How do we know that we're doing what we're supposed to? How will we make it through?

I turned to prayer & the scriptures for comfort & answers. In doing so my faith has grown & I've been able to buoy up my husband & comfort him while he struggles with feelings of frustration at the situation that's been thrust upon us. I found I can be there to support & love him no.matter.what. And that that is all I need to do...what I'm supposed to be doing.

After a night of tossing & turning with worry & stress I woke up this morning & was enjoying the quiet this morning before my kids woke up. I found myself caught up in my thoughts. Next thing I know I'm tearing up. Not because I was sad, but because I was feeling so blessed. At a time of such uncertainty in our lives right now I was overwhelmed with the knowledge of how much the Savior loves me & my family.

We are buoyed up by friends, family, & members of the ward. I feel inspired by the many wonderful people I have association with. Whether they be from high school, college, or anytime after that I am grateful for them & their wise words & inspiring stories. I am grateful that they are willing to share with those around them. They have become my network of support even though they may not know it.

I have a wonderful little family that is sealed together for eternity. I am blessed with a loving hard working husband, who strives to live righteously & lead our family in good. Who provides as only a father can. Who wants me to stay home with the kids no matter how tight things are because he knows that's where I want to be & where the Lord wants me to be & will stick up for me & that decision when anyone criticizes it. Who loves me for me no matter what. Who doesn't mind if the house is a little messy. Who thinks I'm a great mom especially when I don't feel like it. Who understands I can't do it all. Who is my best friend in the world.

I have two great kids that may drive me batty at times, but I know they love me unconditionally even for my imperfections. Those precious moments we share when they cuddle up to me or when only "Mommy" can make it all better. When B looks at me with those big blue eyes that say it all..."Thanks for feeding me...Thanks for holding me...Thanks for being my mommy.....Thanks for loving me."

I truly am blessed with the things that matter.

Dontcha just wanna squeeze his little cheeks? I do and I do constantly do it. :) Poor kid. He's growing up too fast though.

And yes he does look EXACTLY like his dad. Crazy.

Love the hair too.

Just a Hi!

Just wanted to let ya'll know I'm still here. Still alive and kicking. I'm finally caught up on everything! YAY!! It's amazing how dirty your house can get when you're always going, going, going. But it's all done and Mom came and helped me organize. Thank you Mom!! Now that summer is winding down we'll be home a lot more and things won't get so bad again. :)

Picture to make you smile.

My Newly Organized Bedroom

Before: Yes, sadly, I really did let my room get this messy.

After: Lots better! I absolutely love it. And I love the dresser Erick made for me. All it needs is the drawers, but I can still use it until those are done.

Just Me and the Baby for a Couple Days

Erick's mom took Myelle to stay with her for the weekend before she starts back to school. I'm going to miss that little bundle of fun, but I'm super excited to clean (and I mean deep clean) my house and have no one but me to mess it up! I'm planning to rearrange both the kitchen and my bedroom and finally do a deep scrub of the bathroom ( I didn't know tubs could get so dirty so fast!).

Erick is leaving on Saturday after I get off work to go backpacking with my bros, Dad, Kee, and a couple other people I don't know who they are. Those of us staying home are gearing up for a Girl's Night Out on Saturday. I'm looking forward to that.

Before she left today Colleen (Erick's mom) took us out to lunch and to the store to buy my birthday present. She got me a double stroller so I can take both kids on walks with me, allowing me to get out of the house more easily while Erick's out of town. Or just during the day too instead of waiting until night time. Thank you Colleen!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!

Longest Errand Day Ever!

Yesterday I had a ton of errands I needed to do and there was no getting around them. So we got all prepped and headed into town. First stop Sportman's to pick up a mess kit for Erick for his backpacking trip. Chatted a bit there with Bethanie, Nicole, and Andy.

Next stop was Rosemark for some samples of a medication.

After that it was off to Smith's to fill my BP prescription and pick up a few groceries. They had some great deals! On the first trip I picked up some bread and cereal. I'll post the prices below. My prescription was going to take like 45 minutes to fill so we went off to Winco for some fresh fruit and a couple other things.

Then it was back to Smith's for my meds and a few other good deals.

Next we headed to Napa Auto Parts for some high-temp silicone so Erick could fix the Jetta. Which he did last night! Go Hunny! I can't say enough about the service at Napa! I was in and out within 5 minutes because they were so helpful!

Next was Idaho Steel to pick up our oil pan. Jay did an excellent job welding a patch on it and reinforcing it with a skid plate. Thanks Jay!! And for only $44.52! Wooot!!

We hurried off to D&L Cleaners to pick up a blanket and sleeping bag I forgot I had taken there.

Last stop before we went to pick up Erick was Walmart. By the time I hit Walmart I was in a daze. I think I wandered down the frozen foods aisle like 6 times before I found (remembered) what I was looking for! LOL

The kids did awesome! Especially for how hot it was. Myelle took a quick nap in the carseat in between a couple stores and Bentley slept on and off. I had to nurse him in between each stop it seemed like so that took a lot longer, but at least he was happy and I got everything done. Now to clean up and get stuff put away that didn't get put away last night.

Great deals:

Smith's

2 pack whole chicken $.79/lb

Instant oatmeal - $1.88 (for Erick's trip)

Puff's Tissues - $1.69/box, buy 4 and get $4 off instantly, ended up being $.69/box! (I'm most excited about that one)

Turkey Breast - $.99/lb

Post Cereals - $1.88/box

Granny's Pride Bread - $1/loaf

Goldfish crackers (regular sized bag) - $.99/ea

Twinkies - 2/$4 plus a $.50 off coupon = $1.50/box

Winco

Grapes - $.99/lb

That is probably the last time I do errands like that with 2 small children in tow for a very, very long time!

My Perfect Date

My friend Jessica (Yes, she is awesome and I talk about her a lot. :D) is very inspirational. On her blog she posted a "Write Now Prompt." I haven't written anything from a prompt since I was in college, but here goes. ;)

My perfect date would be up in the mountains with lots of pine trees. It'd be just about dusk and the fire would be going in the firepit. My hubby and I would scootch our chairs close together and enjoy the still night air. Listening to the sounds of the wildlife going to bed or just waking up for the night. The night air would get cooler as it slowly faded to black and the stars twinkle to life like far away street lamps. We'd talk about our past memories and our future hopes and dreams. As the glow of the fire slowly grew dimmer we'd go off to our tent and snuggle down close to each other in the warm sleeping bags and drift off to sleep.

Scentsy Giveaway

My friend Jessica is having a Scentsy Giveaway on her blog. Enter to win here. I L.O.V.E. Scentsy! I just wish I could afford it all. LOL I'm crossing my fingers hoping I win. :D It'd be the perfect birthday present to myself. ;)

Complete and Honest Gotta-Get-it-off-My-Chest Vent Post

You know...I used to be a very positive person. I still am a positive person, but it takes a lot more work. I try to remember that there are so many other people worse off than me and majority of the time that's all it takes to pull me out of a funk. As our trials pile up this year though I feel trapped underneath and my soul yearns to feel joy again. It's been a bit of a rough summer. Don't get me wrong it's been a fantastic one with lots of happy memories being made and lots of friends, family, and traveling. But all the same it's also been a bit of a rough one. Some of which I will vent....the rest I don't really want to talk about.

Erick has been gone to Jackson a lot for work. He's been gone a lot before, but this year I've got 2 kids to handle on my own. It's amazing how big of a relief it is to have my husband come home even at a late hour. I didn't realize it until he's been gone. I honestly don't know how I could do without him for very long. I can't even imagine how my friends that have husbands in the military do it. My hat goes off to you ladies.

Money is tight. Like super tight. So tight that we went on government assistance so we could buy food. Boy is that hard. We won't be on it long...just long enough to get back on our feet, but there are so many people that are judgemental when you go to the grocery store. Cashiers are rude, people stare (or at least it feels that way) and I am wracked with guilt that we can't provide for ourselves. Then I have to tell myself (and have Mom tell me too) that it's okay to get help. We have an unusally high amount of medical bills for people our age (I have to remind myself of that too). That comes with the territory of Erick's Crohn's disease. One day we will be out from under the bondage of debt, but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're just at the beginning of it.

Coming back from a pregnancy is tough physically and emotionally. Even though Bentley is sleeping through the night now I still don't seem to have the energy I need to make it through the day. I do have PPD and am currently on meds for it, but I still feel like I'm missing something. I can't seem to lose the baby weight or any weight at all really. I'd really love to go running, but with Erick gone I don't exactly have anyone to watch the kids while I go. My jogging stroller is broken at the moment and it isn't exactly made for 2.

I feel like I'm failing as a mother. Myelle is whiny and crying all the time. She's not very confident of herself and wants me to do every little thing for her (even though she used to do it by herself all the time!). It seems like every little thing is a struggle and I'm picking my battles! I can hardly get her to eat anything close to healthy (milk and cheese is about it), she doesn't listen very well (I know 2 year olds don't listen very well but she seems extreme), and I hate to even think about bedtime. It's always 10pm or later when she finally goes to sleep whether she had a nap or not. I wake her up at 8am and she usually has a 2 hour nap around noon to one. I am at my wits end! I want to scream, yell, cry, tear my hair out, break things (not my children though, always inanimate objects. Had to throw that in there so no one feels they need to call CPS). I can't seem to keep the house clean. Laundry doesn't get done as often as it needs and dishes pile up until we don't have anymore clean ones, I'm lucky if I even get a shower or to do my hair. *Sigh* I love my family and my children dearly, but I need help. I can't do it on my own.

Now that being said I feel lots better. Tomorrow is a brand new day! I just have a few things to jot down in my handwritten journal and scriptures to read before I can drift off into a short but blissful sleep.

Thank you for listening.

We Finally Got It!!

Woot! We finally got Bentley laughing on video! It was the funniest thing because I didn't have to say anything at first. I could just look at him and he started laughing his head off. I love it!

Enjoy the video...it'll make you smile.

Oh and I'm almost done rearranging and organizing the Living Room. Pics and post to come soon.

Mom just updated her cooking blog. Check out her recipe for amazing freezer jam here. I'm also now a co-author for that blog and can't wait to share some of my experiments in the kitchen.

P.S. you'll want to pause the music player at the bottom of the screen before you watch.

Refreshing Rearranging

I don't think I have many quirks, but I do have one that I will admit to....I L.O.V.E. to rearrange my house. Not just once, but over and over again. Rearranging, reorganizing, redecorating. Growing up I used to rearrange my bedroom just about every other month. I get a thrill out of getting the most space out of a little room and making it feel big! I love how a new look for a room gives you a refreshed feeling.

Lately I've been feeling a bit down about having to rent an apartment rather than being able to buy a house right now. Things were just feeling chaotic and old. I needed to be refreshed so I've started a complete rearranging rampage (there's some alliteration for ya!) on my apartment. First up was the kids bedroom.

Before

After

These pics don't nearly do it justice, but it feels oh so much better!! Next is the kitchen or living room....haven't decided yet.

Naptime

You never can really understand the blissfulness of naptime until you have kids. That one or two and sometimes three hours in the afternoon while they are sleeping is just what my soul (and my patience) needs to make it through the rest of the day. We've gotten into a better schedule nothing interferes with naptime. LOL Peaceful, quiet moments when I don't have to hear whining or crying (not that my kids do that all the time, but a good chunk right now. Tis the stages their in) and I can scramble to get all my housestuff done uninterrupted. Dishes, showering, and a bit of computer time until they wake up. Ahhhh sweet bliss!

Sunburns

The other day I told my mom that "Sunburns are like pregnancy...you forget how bad it hurts until you're going through it." Such is what I experienced when we went to Bear Lake this weekend. I shamefully didn't put enough sunscreen on and then spent a solid 2 hours in the water. Needless to say I am a very crispy critter with blisters all over my shoulders. I haven't been burned this bad in...well I haven't ever been burned this bad, but I have been burned bad enough that I vowed I would never go into the sun without 60 SPF again. Well again and again I learn my lesson and recommit to that vow. This weekend was one of those renewing ones and I will pay the price this time as I vow I won't go into the sun that long without lots and lots of 60+ sunscreen.

A Bit of Camping

Got in from camping last night at 10:30. We're all in one piece....well except for the car. We ripped a hole in the bottom of the oil pan whilst driving on some of the forest roads. It should be an easy fix. Erick thinks he can do it himself. Mom and Dad had to come out and rescue us. Ah memories.

We got up to Timber Creek Thursday night around 7. Just slightly (note the sarcasm) later than we were planning. LOL We just couldn't seem to make it out of town. Brett and Brianna made good time and made it up there by 9pm. When I paid the fee I accidentally counted the days were staying instead of the nights so I donated a little bit to the forest service. You're welcome Challis National Forest. LOL

We had a great time! Full of fishing, hiking, cooking and eating good food, worries about bears and wolves. Awesome neighbors that brought us firewood. Lots of bumps, scrapes, bruises, sunburns, windburns, and tons of mosquito bites. The week was filled with lots of laughs and only a little bit of grumpiness because I didn't get enough sleep. LOL (Next time Myelle is sleeping in her own sleeping bag instead of with me, Erick and Bentley.)

Now I'm off to figure out how to get down to the family reunion in a couple days. Here's some pics to get you by until I return. Have a great week!

Myelle in her power stance playing catch.

Fishing with her Scooby pole.

Bentley and Dad on the huge rock.

Myelle felt the need to sweep the ground. It sure was dirty.

Brett and his fish.

Where did we find these crazy people?

Like Uncle...Like Nephew? They both love the river.

Wolf Tracks

Our Rescuers

Mom's Cooking Blog

My mom is a fabulous cook. I didn't learn nearly as much as I should have from her when I was living at home, but thankfully we live close enough I can learn much more from her. She's started a blog to post all of her old favorites and some of her new experiments. She even said I could occasionally chip in my adventures in the kitchen. Check it out here.

******

I've been trying not to spend as much time on the computer (Yes I am an internet junkie) thus the sparse posting. This will continue as the next few weeks are crazy busy! Camping this week in Sawmill Canyon(Thursday-Monday)...2 days to unpack and repack for the McKinnon Family Reunion in Bear Lake (Thursday-Saturday).....That leaves Sunday for church (Hallelujah! I will have missed it the past couple weeks) and Monday or getting ready or my 2nd annual throwing camp (Tuesday-Thursday) just before Pioneer Day. I will try to post in between all this. No promises though.

******

Bentley has started to giggle and laugh. I have yet to get it on camera because he stops as soon as I whip the camera out. He's too interested in that. And actually our camera has been missing for the past 3 weeks. Thanks Kee for letting us borrow one of yours.

Bentley has also been sleeping through the night for about a month now. He usually sleeps a minimum of 5 hours a night. Yay for sleep!! I'm a much nicer person when I'm not tired.

My Boy is a Thumbsucker

He makes me chuckle. Myelle did not like to suck her thumb at all, but Bentley is always sucking on his thumb. In fact he gets really mad when "someone" takes it away. LOL

Love This Girl....Keeley Marie

She's amazing! One of the most talented people I know....she inspires me.

Her musical abilities blow me out of the water. I am impressed with every new composition she writes on the piano.

I wish I could run like she can.

She's beautiful.

She's one of the most spiritual people I know. Her example makes me want to be better. I haven't seen many people as close to the Lord as she is.

She's ambitious. This girl is going to go places.

She's smart and funny.

She's kind even though she thinks she's not.

I consider her one of my best friends.

Hopefully I'll get to spend a lot of time with her before she goes off to USU in August.

Kee I know I told you this at graduation, but I love you. You're one of the best sisters anyone could ask for.

P.S. My computer's being dumb. I'll add pics later.

Bentley Pics

I was realizing I hadn't posted any pics of Bentley yet. This is probably one of my favorites.

Grandma Wood